By: Jess Quarello
One of the first things I worried about after receiving Adeline's birth diagnosis of down syndrome was, quite shamefully I'll admit, my first born Charlee and how it would affect her.
I have talked a lot about how much I used to day dream about the bond between my two girls during my pregnancy with Adeline. It was a big piece of the mourning process I went through after her birth. I mourned their neuro-typical sister relationship for them, without allowing myself to be curious and open-minded about the future of their relationship.
I grew up in a very close-knit family and my sister is my best friend in the universe. I was so sad for Charlee after Adeline was born and every time I saw her kiss her baby sister, or show her affection, my heart would break. I hope all of you reading this can give me some grace as I know this sounds unbecoming but I will always share my truth on this platform in case and in hopes that someone needs to hear it. The truth is, I was dealing with a surprise diagnosis and trying to wrap my head around what my life would look like as a special needs mom while also wanting so desperately for Charlee to have with Adeline what I have with my sister Britta. The sadness was deep in my chest in those early days, but as Adeline grew and their bond began, the sadness was felt less and less.
